While there is no formula for completion, Zaffron and Logan (2009)
presented these steps to help you complete your past in the context of a group
(such as your family, organization or society):
- Start a conversation with the person with whom you need to complete the issue. Create a frame in which completing the issue is of benefit to the relationship.
- Address what happened-what you decided, what you did or didn’t do, that’s between you and the other person. Because you’ve harbored it, you have to take responsibility for the diminishment of the relationship. It may even be to such an extent that you ask to be forgiven. Notice the use of language that is much more potent than descriptive: “I acknowledge taking responsibility for it.” The very act of saying this is an action. Acknowledgment is created in the moment you utter these words.
- Take whatever action is necessary, such as apologizing or giving up the murmuring. When we give something up, forgive, are forgiven, a new space opens up. Again, this part of the conversation requires generative language, such as ”I’m giving up the grudge I’ve been harboring for years.”
- Creating a new future requires a constant commitment to being complete with everyone involved. Doing so creates and sustains a blank space into which the new future can be created.
- As you examine your performance challenge, look to see what incompletions you have. Also look to see how you can start a conversation with the people in your business and life to complete the issue. Additionally, ask yourself if there’s anything that can be done to demonstrate your commitment to completion.
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What incompletions can you work on today?
